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Saturday, February 14, 2009

The perfect wedding does not make the perfect marriage

It is so easy to get caught up in wedding planning. A good friend of mine, emailed me today and told me about her wedding dress, but then followed it was quickly followed by, and I'm paraphrasing, "we just can't wait to be married, wedding planning was fun at first, but now it is just stressful to get it all planned plus continue on with our normal activities of jobs, kids, etc."

I have actually heard about women who take on their own wedding planning as a full-time endeavor and quit their jobs! Can you believe that? I will admit that I am guilty of wishing I didn't have a job and graduate school so I could just go off and do fun wedding planning things all day, but be careful what you wish for-I would be miserable without my job that gives me meaning and purpose in my life and school which is helping me be better at my job!

Maybe she is just an urban wedding myth, but imagine that girl who did quit her job to plan her wedding. What does she do when the honeymoon is over? Go beg for her job back? Or maybe her new husband is just so rich that she can be a full-time wife. Ick! I fully support full-time moms...I think that is the hardest profession with the crappiest pay ever...but a full-time wife-what does that mean?

But I digress, this post is about getting caught up in the wedding planning whirlwind; unless you are a wedding planner, this is dangerous. Have you ever heard of postpartum depression? Of course you have-very serious, very real. I have actually heard of post-wedding depression and although this has nothing to do with hormones or science, I think women really do face this. They become obsessed with one day, every little detail, every little cost, and then poof it's over. And all that left is a marriage.

I know you can hear the sarcasm in my last few words. I have loved every second of my wedding planning so far. Even the "I'm getting stressed-take a deep breath" parts. But, through the entire process, Jason and I have made a concerted effort to keep in the front of our minds and the bottom of our hearts, the true meaning of all of this craziness: that we have found each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together, legally bonded as husband and wife- truly until death do us part-and even that won't part us as we will meet in heaven. Death will just take us away from each other for a little while-scary!

I knew a girl who had the most beautiful and perfect wedding you could ever dream of-the dream-like dress, the romantic backdrop, the special tears, and the support and love of their family and friends. It was a wedding that would make even the happiest of people, envious. Perfect wedding, not so perfect marriage. The couple didn't even make it a month before they were separated and the marriage was annulled. Perfect wedding-not so perfect marriage.

This post really isn't meant to be depressing-it's just a reminder that weddings, in all their fun and glory, are just an event that celebrates the marriage between two people. I think if more couples, especially the women (I hate to say), remembered this and TRULY believed it, this country would have a much more encouraging divorce rate than 50/50.

1 comment:

  1. Amen! I have seen this way too many times and it's really sad! We will all be really happy at your wedding because we know that you all are ready for the marriage and not just wanting a wedding! Work to keep this front of mind as it will get harder as the wedding draws closer.



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