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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Coffee Talk: The Great Mom Debate

Has anyone read Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In: Women, Work & The Will to Lead?  Sandberg is the COO of Facebook and has received a lot of flack for some of her statements written in the book about working moms, stay at home moms, etc. 

I haven't read it yet so I can't speak about my thoughts on her book yet, but I can't wait to.  While many are criticizing her, other are defending her.  Read Stop Attacking Sheryl Sandberg: 10 Things I Love About Lean In. 

These next thoughts have nothing to do with Lean In (since I haven't read it yet) but on the topic about working moms vs. stay at home moms, I hate that there has to be a divide.  I've found in my short time of being a mom-to-be that women feel the urge to quickly defend their situation, whatever it may be, as if the other person is immediately judging them. 

If you are a working mom, it's common to give arguments that daycare helps socialize children, that you want to be independent and have a life outside of the home or make your own money, that you want to contribute financially to the family, blah, blah, blah. 

If you are a stay at home mom, it's common to give arguments that it's the best decision for your baby, that you don't want others to raise your child, that if you can make it work financially then it's ideal, blah, blah, blah. 

Bottom line - there are pros and cons to BOTH decisions and one woman is not any better than the other.  A child of a stay at home mom is no better off than a working mom and vice versa, in my opinion.  I just wish women would support each other and realize that both choices are good and bad and not jump to that defensive place. 

I've had women go on and on to me about how lucky they are to stay at home and that their children are better off for it, knowing damn well that I will be a working mom.  I've also had women try to "bond" with me over the fact that we are both working women and say things like "how can those other women do it...what do they do all day and how are they fulfilled." 

I choose not to take sides and accept the fact that both choices are great and both choices suck.  I also choose not to defend my choice to anyone, but to state what it is plain and simple. 

Can't wait to hear your thoughts and perspectives.  I'm stepping off my soapbox now!

1 comment:

  1. It depends on the family and the woman. I work not just because we need to pay our mortgage, but I also happen to love my job (most days) and its technically only 9 months a year, so that makes it pretty easy to have the work-home balance. But honestly...everyone is going to have an opinion on what you should do but the only people that really matter are you, Jack and Jason. If those three people are content and're doing okay.



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