Shelley also graciously donated a $25 Starbucks giftcard for a little giveaway today! Who doesn't love a little Starbucks boost on a Monday for our coffee talk discussion? Enter below at the end of the post. The giveaway ends at 11:59pm on Friday, the 13th.. our favorite day since I was born on a Friday the 13th {it explains so much}. Enjoy!
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A Personal Apology
I want to apologize for something that I have said for years about myself and the choice I made to leave the corporate workforce and stay home with my children. Before you get all huffy, thinking I’m about to throw another punch in the “mommy wars,” you are mistaken. I still think the decision to work outside the home, vs staying home….and everything in between…is a very personal choice. A choice that was hard fought for today’s women. I am grateful that I had a choice. Some don’t.
But I digress. The thing I cringe about every time I hear it
said today or see it written on Facebook, and every time I remember saying it
is this: “I’m a full time Mom.” This is usually in response to being asked
“And what do you do?” I get it, there is
no easy answer. It used to be my least
favorite question to answer, along with “But don’t you get bored?”
But now, having a grown daughter who has made a different
decision than mine, I can see clearly
that all mothers, working or otherwise, are always FULL TIME MOMS. Geography makes no difference. Whether you are in an office miles away, or
at home changing a diaper, you NEVER stop being a mom. Just as it is not right to say “I am a
working mom,” thereby implying that a woman who chooses to stay home is not
working. I can testify strongly that this is not an accurate depiction.
The truth is, whatever choice one makes, has consequences –
good, bad, and everything in between. I loved staying at home with my children.
But I paid a heavy price when I needed to earn a living. The regrets, the loss
of respect….the unexpected consequences of any choice are not absent from this
choice. And of course, the
stresses/guilt of mothers employed outside the home. I won’t try to describe that since I did not
experience it. But I do know that mothers who stay home also can feel guilty,
wondering if they are setting the right example for their children. Certainly a
case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
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| Chelsea {9 months pregnant} & Shelley |
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| "Mimi" and Jack |
So, there it is. My confession that I contributed to the war
against women, by women. When are we going to stop? That’s an answer for
another time. For now, I salute ALL
mothers, whose work, worry, anxiety NEVER stops….even when your children are
grown.
LOVE this post today...as it is something that I desperately needed to hear. Been dealing with so much "mommy guilt" myself lately, and I am comforted by knowing that I am not the only one! Hope to meet your sweet mama in person one day!!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any judgement for moms, whether they do work or stay home. I know they all work hard! I would LOVE to stay home with my little one though.
ReplyDeleteI try to say "I work outside the house" too. I felt crazy when I went back to work after my 8 week maternity leave and Addy's dad stayed home with her. For a year! That was the best thing for our family at the time. That's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteThe guilt is always there....I have done both!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any judgement against moms. I want to be a stay at home mom one day and I think people just need to realize its not for everyone.
ReplyDeleteEach family's situation is different. I definitely experience guilt and wish I could stay at home. Maybe one day though :)
ReplyDeleteI love the perspective of someone on the "other" side of the spectrum. I think the Mommy Wars get so heated from women who are in the thick of diaper changes, potty training and pre-school anxiety, that's it's nice to hear from someone removed from the situation.
ReplyDelete